Maybe a $20 Gold Piece

Even as late as the turn of the century, if a guy took a dislike to his job and cried a lot, he could walk away from his depression. He could wander into the fresh air that was used only by a few early day settlers and still find a homestead. The soil that was left was usually on the thin side. Yet, if he was lucky enough to find a wife to share the joys and some hardships, all he needed then was a leather pouch half-filled with silver dollars and maybe a $20 gold piece. About the only way this typical couple could have gone broke was, if they did not use their noodles.

"Inflation" Kik-Backs, p.41


Shall We Elope?

Our preparation for marriage, many years ago, took only from midnight ’til noon the next day. (Digest version.)

After taking Sugar home from a Grange dance...
Sugar: “Don’t walk me to the house tonight, the folks may hear us.”
Me: “OK.”
Both: “Smack, smack.” The next 21 seconds, silence.
Then Sugar: “Gee, I’m locked out!”
Then me: “Golly!”
Sugar: “What am I going to do?”
Me: “Well, let's go over to my house and think things over for a spell.”

Later, entering my pad...
Sugar: “Now what?”
Me: “Shall we elope?”
Sugar: “I don’t care, I love you.”
Me, (thinking to myself): "This is scary. Suppose Sugar turns out not to be a Sugar?"
Sugar, (also thinking to herself): "How do I know he isn’t full of more things than just peanuts?"
Me: “Do you know anything about sex?”
Sugar: “A little, sometimes the conductor throws off a True Story Magazine, when the train goes by the house.”
Me: "I have an out-dated sex book, but it’s kinda for the birds.”

Next day at Coeur d’Alene, a brother and sister standing on the sidewalk next to a marriage mill...
Brother speaking: “Hi! We can be your witness for 50 cents apiece.”
Me: “OK.”
Brother speaking: “We will take you to Uncle Barton.”

Entering a small room...
Me: “I wonder if that wobbly old guy over in the corner will be the one that will marry us?”
Sugar: “Not so loud, he may hear you.”
Wobbly Old Guy: “I’ll be there in a minute. Have your license ready because I close at noon on Saturdays.”

Uncle Barton went through the marriage vows so fast I had to be told that I owed him $2.50.

"Weddings" Kik-Backs, p.4

Stepdad Locked Her Out

Writing bits of events and local history that surrounded my life, is still part of my retirement hobby. I’m getting to be an old guy now, but don’t intend to get older any fester than I have to. I did escape the mid-life crises that made lots of guys do odd things, like chucking their wives for something better. 

Over five decades ago, when I reached my 30th year of living, I found Sugar, and that made the rest of my adult life more better. We both needed each other, but didn’t realize it until after we eloped and came back married. 

Now with the biggest share of our lives used up, it got me to thinking how fortunate it was that Sugar’s stepdad locked her out of the house when I brought her home too late.-- For this I owe father Deppner sincere gratitude for barricading the entrance. She became mine that night. Sugar was attending high school at that time and could have found a younger, educated guy.

"Forward" Kik-Backs No. 3, p. 2


Living in the Past

There is no future by living in the past, but remembering the bygone days is a blessing we should all be thankful for. It gives a person the instinct to reach out for another day to add to his autobiography.

"Senior Citizens" Kik-Back Country, p. 93